Vagina Monologues 

 

A symphony of women's pains, pleasures, agony and despair  

Abhilasha Rayamajhi 

A theater performance was about to begin and there was an air of excitement among the audience who were waiting outside the hall. The audience for this show was different; old men in their sixties, young college students, women, foreigners and people from various walks of life were all gathered to witness Vagina Monologues 3.0 at Nepal Tourism Board (NTB), Bhrikutimandap on March 2.

Vagina Monologues was initiated by American playwright, performer, activist and feminist. In Nepal Akanchha Karki and Gunjan Dixit have facilitated and directed the performance. This is the third year of celebrating the stories of the most vital yet rarely talked about female part 'Vagina' in Nepal.

The entire show encompasses a wide array of emotions from humor to grief, stories of pain, loss, harassment and abuse as well as tales of pleasure, love and lust. The one and half hour of the drama is entertaining, informative, engaging and empowering.

14 phenomenal women dressed in powerful shades of black and pink are seated on the stage. The light is dim so the audience cannot see them clearly yet their presence can be distinguished. Initially three of them take the center stage and introduce their art stating that in the process of developing the show 200 women and girls have been interviewed regarding their views on sex, relationships, abuse and violence. 

Sarita Giri, a popular theatre artist is immersed in her role of a woman who never had an orgasm and expresses how relaxed she feels when someone wants to know about her vagina.  

An actor beautifully draped in pink sari tells that if you love your vagina you must also accept your pubic hair. She shares how her husband made her shave her pubic hair and then after that she felt quite disconnected to it as it looked puffed and swollen to her.

Then there are also some facts like "The clitoris is the only organ in our body with 8,000 nerve fibers solely designed for pleasure" that are shared in between the stories.

The performance was not just related to women's struggles and pleasures but violence faced by transgender women as well. 

A monologue from a woman who had a surprisingly unique experience with a man who seemed quite ordinary calmed down the tensed environment. Her act was fresh and like a cool breeze near a flowing river. 

Well known theater artist Pashupati Rai is remarkable and humorous throughout her performance. She plays the role of a woman who is quite angry because of the way vaginas are treated. In the opening of the drama she spreads laughter among the audience by listing the names vaginas are given along with other artists. 

After the humor, the stories of sexual violence at the time of war, child sexual abuse and domestic violence take center stage. These stories were an ode to the women who were courageous enough to speak up against violence and abuse. I could hear gasps and sighs in the silence of that dark hall as I wept listening to the heart wrenching experiences of an 8 month pregnant woman who was beaten up and tortured by her criminal husband.

To lighten up the mood of the audience appeared a sensual lady who made the audience say 'cunt' and took our breath through her act. 

Nazir Hussain ends the play by saying, "May I be a man whose confidence comes from the depth of my giving, who understands that vulnerability is my greatest strength…."

Overall the performance was a symphony of powerful and intimate stories of women. This is one powerful act that can make us laugh one moment and weep the next. Apart from a few technical glitches the show was a hit. 

To come out of the shell and discuss sexuality in Nepali society is quite bold and inspiring. Vagina Monologues has definitely kindled a conversation about the stigma attached with women's sexuality.  

Words from the actors and director

Vijaya Karki, shares, "Vagina Monologues is a celebration of sexuality. We want more male members to connect to it and accept it. "

Pashupati Rai, says, "This is my second year doing Vagina Monologues. Initially I felt quite awkward to openly discuss about women issues. "She adds, "But now I feel quite comfortable and my inner thought towards the feminine has strengthened. I feel more confident as a person after working on this play. "  

Pashupati Rai

"Simply talking about women's sexuality is also a taboo in our society. Initially when we started this project we faced a lot of controversies and online harassments," says Akanchha Karki, director of Vagina Monologues in Nepal. She recalls that many had tried to repress their voices and questioned their motives behind Vagina Monologues. However, they were persistent on their efforts and gradually more people started accepting their work. Her message to women and girls through this play is, "Don't be silent and speak up when violence happens."   

Akanchha Karki

If you haven't yet watched Vagina Monologues then there is no question of missing it this time. The show will be on till March 6 at Nepal Tourism Board, 5 pm (Saturday 1 pm as well). On March 8, the venue is Evoke Café and Bistro at 6

 pm.  

With actors Loonibha Tuladhar and Nazir Hussain

Cast

Gunjan Dixit

Sarita Giri

Renuka Karki

Kenipa Singh

Pashupati Rai

Srijana Subba

Nisha Karki

Shanti Giri

Smitaa Rajajram

Vijaya Karki

Binita Gurung

Loonibha Tuladhar

Srijana Adhikari

Akanchha Karki

Set Collaboration

Kala Limbu, Basun Rai

Poster Design

Ujala Shrestha

Photography

Niva Rajbangshi, Pramin Manandhar

Logistics

Che Shankar, Sudam C.K., Prathana Dixit

Sound Operator

Anup Neupane

Stage Manager

Anuja Adhikari

Technical Manager

Ingi Hopa Koinch Sunuwar

Playwright

Eve Ensler

Translation/Adaptation

Prateeksha Kattel, Sabhyata Timsina,Akanchha Karki and Gunjan Dixit

Facilitation/Direction

Akanchha Karki and Gunjan Dixit

  

To, The Universe With Love

Photo: squarespace.com

 

Dear Universe,

First of all, thank you for everything you have granted me. I am grateful to all the love that I receive from family, friends, loved ones and even complete strangers every day. I am thankful for the nature, the sun that rises every single day, the moon and its cycle, the green trees, the flowers, the mountains and the divine energy that makes creation and life possible. 

I am grateful for my good health and all the resources that are flowing abundantly and effortlessly in my life. You have blessed me so generously that there is nothing I can complain about.  

Life till now has been a smooth ride with a few twists and turns. I am also thankful to all the challenges I faced and the hurdles that are yet to come. 

I am in harmony with the fact that difficult times are also as significant as happy times. Our problems make us who we are; our scars remind us of our brave history and the fact that we have made it so far. 

We succeed not despite our difficulties but because of them. I would not get the recognition, awards and successes I have in my life if I hadn't failed. We hear many famous personalities taking about how their failures have acted as a ladder to their success. 

Malcolm Gladwell has talked about this in his book Outliers. Oprah Winfrey shares that there is no such thing as failure, it is just God's way of saying not this way and guide you to the next direction.

As the years pass I realize that it is true that there is no such thing as failure, it is how your mind perceives it. For instance, you get really low scores or fail in your exams then you have two choices either you consider yourself as a failure and waste a lot of time and energy on it, feel anxious and stressed out or you can embrace your pain, own it, learn from it and move on. 

The choice is yours.

So, it is very important to control my mind and not be controlled by it.   

The fears and hopes in me make me more human. I hope to receive everything with grace and acceptance with ease and calmness just like the plants receive sunlight and grow effortlessly. 

Universe, please give me the strength to walk my path with integrity. Give me the wisdom to accept the moment as if I had chosen it. Give me the power to live the truth and my calling. No matter what happens make me so powerful that I don't give up on myself and also on others. 

You are amazing the way you are. Thank you for blessing me with all I need and the better times that are yet to come. I am waiting to embrace them with love and an open heart. 

We are connected. I am within you and you are in me. 

Thank you for always being so kind to me. 

Yours Sincerely,

Abhilasha 

(ONE)

 The story of 2015

One of the things that I like to do is reflect upon and document my life. We all have stories to share, we all are stories in ourselves.  Our stories are worth remembering and worth sharing. We achieve what we want then that is great. But if we don't then there is something bigger and better for us or may be there is something right for us.

I found this video in my archives from 2015 so I thought of sharing it here in my blog.

A Go-getter's year Review

The 22^nd year of my life was full of achievements, travel, learning, reflections and moving on. In the beginning of the year I made one of my dreams come true. I always wanted to secure 4.0 GPA in BBA since I joined the course. Finally in the 8^th semester I did it. It felt like hitting the bull’s eye. I don’t think GPA reflects my intelligence or makes me a better person or student but accomplishing my goal feels great.

Many people have this concept that when you are involved in a full time job and extra-curricular activities you miss out on your studies. But I know for sure that applying your classroom learning at work and sharing your work experiences at class is quite beneficial.

Honestly, it was not at all fun at times to wake up at two in the morning to prepare for exams, complete assignments and project works and balance a full time job as a journalist for a leading national daily and host a Radio Talk show. But it was all worthwhile. I graduated as the ‘Best Graduating Student’.

( This one is for my parents, teachers, mentors, friends and everyone who has helped me. Would not be possible without you, really. )

Then I also got an opportunity experience and write about Bungy jumping at The Last Resort. I did the Tandem swing. It was a life time experience. Swinging just above the wild Bhotekoshi River and having the golden rays of sunshine on my face made me realize how beautiful this world is.

(The most adventurous moment of my entire life..many more to come, please stay tuned! Thank you Aman Dai and The Last Resort)

After that success, I went for an exciting and memorable college tour to India. Gazing at the setting sun at the Marine drive in Mumbai, parasailing and singing karaoke in Goa, shopping and meeting my cousin in Delhi and exploring the majestic beauty of Jaipur with my friends will always be cherished. I did not get much time to travel with my friends during the four years so I enjoyed India tour to the fullest without worrying about anything and living every bit of it.

Well, the year just about successes. I tried learning swimming but on the first day of training itself I got allergies and rashes all over my body. Even though I tried doing it for two more days, I was not afraid of water and picked up the instructions well but the allergies got worse and I couldn’t continue. I have learnt that not everything is meant for me in life and I must sometimes let go. My body has some limitations and I should accept and respect it.
I also went for bike rides around the valley. One of the most memorable one was the ride to Kakani, we meditated for a while in Osho Tapoban and enjoyed eating trout fish. The hills looked mesmerizing while on the way back home. The sky was full of twinkling stars and the city brightened up with all the glowing lights.

Beautiful view from Kakani

2016 was also a year full of learning and work. I interviewed young entrepreneurs and wrote lead stories focusing on tourism issues for the English national daily. I also coordinated with other writers/contributors and learnt basic editing skills. Further, I also attended a workshop on Journalism, writing and power point presentations. I tried my best to become a better journalist/writer and a presenter this year.

Interview with Dr Dee Aker, Advisor for Strategic Peacebuilding, University of San Diego, USA

I left my job at a point where I was about to get a raise and promotion. I did not have any better offer that attracted me to leave the work as a full time journalist in one of the leading media houses. I just followed my intuition. I reached a point where I felt like I need to learn and grow more. I need to educate myself to do my work better. I need to understand and explore myself before being committed to anything in my career. I just moved on and there is nothing that can stop you when you have the determination to move forward in life. I have no regrets for the choice I made at this point of my life. I am grateful to the organization, seniors and juniors for helping me learn and develop life skills.
A new chapter of my life began after that. I represented Nepal in “5^th International Buddhist Conclave” where there were delegates from around 40 countries were present. This was a life changing event for me in my life. I witnessed spiritual aarati in the Ghats of Varanasi, observed the holy place Saranath where Buddha gave his first sermon, visited the Mahabodhi temple and meditated under the Bodhi tree where Buddha attained enlightenment and stepped on many other spiritual sites. All of these events and networking with professionals, government officials and delegates from around the world broadened the horizon of my mind. It made me more perceptive.

The International Buddhist Conclave

With  Ranjit Rae, Ambassador of India to Nepal and other delegates for International Buddhist Conclave, at the Indian Embassy

This year I hosted an international event, ‘Nepal Africa Film Festival’ in Kathmandu and Bipul Chettri’s concert in Itahari. I met some really amazing people at these events and I believe every person we meet and every incident in our life has a purpose and significance.

Sharing my story at the Story Yellers

 Hosting Bipul Chetri’s Concert, Itahari

Apart from this I spoke at the Story Yellers where I shared my learning at Bourgandi Children home where I volunteered during my undergrad days. I was the Moderator at the First ever Women’s Entrepreneurship Day in Nepal, presented at Presidential college in the program ‘Am I weird?’, Judged national speaking championship, attended Nepathya concert for the first time, learnt how to drive a car.
Moreover, I started something profound this year. I started teaching and training school and college students. I conducted workshops for students at various business schools on writing, presentation and public speaking skills. And I got an opportunity to work with a school to help students write better. I am learning more when I am helping others learn and develop new skills. I am highly motivated and I wish to continue this endeavor.

Last week I visited three different colleges to promote a marathon for breast cancer awareness. Further, I ran, jogged, walked and completed 10 kms in the Pinkathon marathon. My intention to run this marathon was to encourage myself and other people to stay healthy and happy.  I am not running a race. I am paving my way to a unique and creative journey.
When I look back and reflect on my life so far I feel blessed that I have not stopped. No matter what I happened I have followed my intuition and moved on. But I did have some pauses in between, some confusions and disappointments. In these moments of despair, I have been my own best friend. I have talked to my own self in silence. I have consoled and comforted myself. Now I feel really happy when I am at the end of the day and I enter my room and I am alone.
Overall, 22 was a year that made me wiser and more compassionate. I truly feel blessed for I have this power to express myself and in this process I can be connected to people I have never met. As I embark a new year in my life I express gratitude to each and every being that have entered my life. Without you my journey is not possible. Let’s walk together, or let’s meet again at another junction of life.
I can already feel that 23 will be a dream year with more travel and learning, love and happiness. We all have the capacity to fulfill our dreams and help others in their journey. I hope we harness this power in whatever way we can.

Top 10 things to do in 2018

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

The year 2017 did not go as I had expected it to be. But guess what? It is nevertheless a beautiful and strong year, a milestone chapter in the book of my life. It has taught me so much about acceptance and forgiveness, loving and letting go, and creating beauty in the world. I made endless memories and started out new things like teaching, training, meditating, and cultivating some values to become a better self.

Life took some unexpected turns and initially I was quite overwhelmed, I did not know what to do and how to handle things. But with the grace of the universe and the support of family and friends I overcame my fears and emerged as a stronger individual.

Looking back at my year, I did some really cool stuff and enjoyed my time of 2017. Highlights of 2017 and what I ideas I have for 2018 are here:

a.    Health is Wealth

Your health should be your top priority. If you are not healthy then you cannot achieve anything. But I am not up for extreme and intense workout, I love to hike and trek in the nature and run few kilometres. This year I ran 10 kilometres in the Pinkathon event in the beginning of the year. I hiked few places around the Kathmandu valley and trekked to Muktinath with my students from John Dewey School in 2017.

I plan to run half marathon in 2018 and do some more hiking and trekking.

Health is not just about having an attractive physique but also a balanced mind for which meditation and eating the right quantity and quality of food is a must.I gave up consuming meat in 2017 and I feel awesome about it. I feel more energized and I've lost about 5 kilograms weight.

I have a long, long way to go...
Photo credit: Sudin KC

b.    Meditative lifestyle

Finally in 2017, I got an opportunity to go for a 10 day Vipassana course. I am happy for I could accomplish this ardent mediation. Since, then I have been practising it often.

My challenge in 2018 is to lead a meditative lifestyle.  I plan not just to meditate for an hour a day or 30 minutes a day but to apply the attentiveness in everything I do.

I've met people who claim to be 'spiritual' or even 'spiritual leaders and practitioners' but in their everyday life are quite frustrated and angry at even trivial matters.

Thank you God for Everything!

c.    Relationships matter

I say 2017 was a beautiful and strong year because of the relationships I have in my life. I value my family, friends, teachers, students and everyone I meet in a daily basis. My life would not be as wonderful and amazing as it is now without the people in my life. Shout- outs to all the lovely people in my life who have blessed it with so much love, I want you to know I love you back, even more. J  

In 2018 I will try my best to make you feel more special and proud to have me.

Let's create some magic, let's spread some love.

d.    Education, work and career

Writing, speaking, reading, teaching and presenting are the things that bring life into me. I am among the fortunate people in this world who have built their lives around the things they love. I am continuing to work at John Dewey School; I guide students to improve their writing and presenting skills. A few months back we introduced "John Dewey Talks" a platform where teachers and students collaboratively or individually make presentations on the topic of their choice. Moreover, we also initiated guest lecturing sessions at the school.

I was also invited at DAV school to present on my experience as a writer and media person. Last year I got awarded for my Journalistic works from "Rayamajhi Kuldevta Samiti" which I am quite grateful for.

Even this year I was the Master of Ceremonies for Nepal- Africa Film Festival where distinguished guests from Africa, Europe and Asia were present.

Awarded for my journalistic works

Guest Speaker at DAV School 

And yes I did joined Masters in Business Studies last year and will be appearing for exams in mid- January.

In 2017, I read Malcom Gladwell's "Blink", Kahil Gibran's, "The Broken Wings", Pema Chodron's "Start Where you are", Khaled Hosseini's "A Thousand Splendid Suns" to name a few.

Basically, like always my work, studies, writings, speaking and ventures keep me quite occupied and I love it.

In 2018, I plan to continue all my works, procrastinate less, read more, write more and love even more. I plan work with dedication and love, read at least 30 books, write and publish at least once a month and I have some more plans which I will be sharing with you soon.

e.    Inspiring myself and others

In my strong and beautiful year I have tried my best to keep myself and those around me happy and motivated.

Now in 2018, I plan to be more positive, helpful and giving. I am all excited to start my new year with full energy and enthusiasm.  I have experienced that the little things that we do brings us more happiness than the honors and awards we receive.

I have created 10 things that I will stick by, these are not resolutions exactly but I call them 'Flex To-do List', simple and changeable according to the situation. You can make your own list according to your needs and convenience:

1.    Wake up earlier. No matter how cold it is or how lazy you are feeling just get out of your bed and stop snoozing! (Weekends and holidays are an exception here.)

2.    Be the queen of accomplishments. Don't leave things undone. Be honest and responsible to yourself.

3.    Maintain your exercise and meditation routine and eat right. Avoid junk as much as possible.

4.    Write gratitude journal every single day. By the end of the year you will have enough things to be thankful for and realize how amazing your life is.

5.    Watch the sunrise and the sunset.

6.    Be more giving and helpful, volunteer for a social cause.

7.    Travel to at least 5-6 new places or countries.

8.    Write a letter or make a presentation for your loved one.

9.    Read something interesting every day. Write at least 200 words each day.

10.  Smile more, talk to strangers (don't be too timid or shy) and help as many people as you can.  

I hope you have a great year ahead, a year full of surprises and may you get all that your heart desires for. Thank you for reading it and being there with me.

Lots of love,

Yours Abhilasha