Top 10 things to do in 2018

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

The year 2017 did not go as I had expected it to be. But guess what? It is nevertheless a beautiful and strong year, a milestone chapter in the book of my life. It has taught me so much about acceptance and forgiveness, loving and letting go, and creating beauty in the world. I made endless memories and started out new things like teaching, training, meditating, and cultivating some values to become a better self.

Life took some unexpected turns and initially I was quite overwhelmed, I did not know what to do and how to handle things. But with the grace of the universe and the support of family and friends I overcame my fears and emerged as a stronger individual.

Looking back at my year, I did some really cool stuff and enjoyed my time of 2017. Highlights of 2017 and what I ideas I have for 2018 are here:

a.    Health is Wealth

Your health should be your top priority. If you are not healthy then you cannot achieve anything. But I am not up for extreme and intense workout, I love to hike and trek in the nature and run few kilometres. This year I ran 10 kilometres in the Pinkathon event in the beginning of the year. I hiked few places around the Kathmandu valley and trekked to Muktinath with my students from John Dewey School in 2017.

I plan to run half marathon in 2018 and do some more hiking and trekking.

Health is not just about having an attractive physique but also a balanced mind for which meditation and eating the right quantity and quality of food is a must.I gave up consuming meat in 2017 and I feel awesome about it. I feel more energized and I've lost about 5 kilograms weight.

I have a long, long way to go...
Photo credit: Sudin KC

b.    Meditative lifestyle

Finally in 2017, I got an opportunity to go for a 10 day Vipassana course. I am happy for I could accomplish this ardent mediation. Since, then I have been practising it often.

My challenge in 2018 is to lead a meditative lifestyle.  I plan not just to meditate for an hour a day or 30 minutes a day but to apply the attentiveness in everything I do.

I've met people who claim to be 'spiritual' or even 'spiritual leaders and practitioners' but in their everyday life are quite frustrated and angry at even trivial matters.

Thank you God for Everything!

c.    Relationships matter

I say 2017 was a beautiful and strong year because of the relationships I have in my life. I value my family, friends, teachers, students and everyone I meet in a daily basis. My life would not be as wonderful and amazing as it is now without the people in my life. Shout- outs to all the lovely people in my life who have blessed it with so much love, I want you to know I love you back, even more. J  

In 2018 I will try my best to make you feel more special and proud to have me.

Let's create some magic, let's spread some love.

d.    Education, work and career

Writing, speaking, reading, teaching and presenting are the things that bring life into me. I am among the fortunate people in this world who have built their lives around the things they love. I am continuing to work at John Dewey School; I guide students to improve their writing and presenting skills. A few months back we introduced "John Dewey Talks" a platform where teachers and students collaboratively or individually make presentations on the topic of their choice. Moreover, we also initiated guest lecturing sessions at the school.

I was also invited at DAV school to present on my experience as a writer and media person. Last year I got awarded for my Journalistic works from "Rayamajhi Kuldevta Samiti" which I am quite grateful for.

Even this year I was the Master of Ceremonies for Nepal- Africa Film Festival where distinguished guests from Africa, Europe and Asia were present.

Awarded for my journalistic works

Guest Speaker at DAV School 

And yes I did joined Masters in Business Studies last year and will be appearing for exams in mid- January.

In 2017, I read Malcom Gladwell's "Blink", Kahil Gibran's, "The Broken Wings", Pema Chodron's "Start Where you are", Khaled Hosseini's "A Thousand Splendid Suns" to name a few.

Basically, like always my work, studies, writings, speaking and ventures keep me quite occupied and I love it.

In 2018, I plan to continue all my works, procrastinate less, read more, write more and love even more. I plan work with dedication and love, read at least 30 books, write and publish at least once a month and I have some more plans which I will be sharing with you soon.

e.    Inspiring myself and others

In my strong and beautiful year I have tried my best to keep myself and those around me happy and motivated.

Now in 2018, I plan to be more positive, helpful and giving. I am all excited to start my new year with full energy and enthusiasm.  I have experienced that the little things that we do brings us more happiness than the honors and awards we receive.

I have created 10 things that I will stick by, these are not resolutions exactly but I call them 'Flex To-do List', simple and changeable according to the situation. You can make your own list according to your needs and convenience:

1.    Wake up earlier. No matter how cold it is or how lazy you are feeling just get out of your bed and stop snoozing! (Weekends and holidays are an exception here.)

2.    Be the queen of accomplishments. Don't leave things undone. Be honest and responsible to yourself.

3.    Maintain your exercise and meditation routine and eat right. Avoid junk as much as possible.

4.    Write gratitude journal every single day. By the end of the year you will have enough things to be thankful for and realize how amazing your life is.

5.    Watch the sunrise and the sunset.

6.    Be more giving and helpful, volunteer for a social cause.

7.    Travel to at least 5-6 new places or countries.

8.    Write a letter or make a presentation for your loved one.

9.    Read something interesting every day. Write at least 200 words each day.

10.  Smile more, talk to strangers (don't be too timid or shy) and help as many people as you can.  

I hope you have a great year ahead, a year full of surprises and may you get all that your heart desires for. Thank you for reading it and being there with me.

Lots of love,

Yours Abhilasha

Bleeding Dashami, A Confession 

I was 11 when I menstruated for the first time. I was not allowed to stay at my home. I was taken to my relative's place with all my clothes, mattress, quilt and other necessities that I would require for 11 days. I was not permitted to go any other rooms of the house, look directly at the sun and look at any men. I was having winter vacation at that time so I did not miss my school, if I did not have holidays I would have missed my school too.

My mattress was placed in the corner of a room that was full of furniture. I was not allowed to cross the small area and touch any of the items there.  The washroom that I had to use was downstairs and I could use it either in the early mornings when no one was awake or after everyone was asleep. You might be wondering what I did in between. Well, there was a pot placed in the corner of the room.

I was not easy for me to stay there for 11 long days. There would be visitors during daytime that brought me food and gave me company. But at nights I felt quite lonely. The only entertainment I had at that time was a radio. No TV, no mobile, no laptop, only a radio. When I asked why is it that I had to follow all these rules, the only answer I received was this is how it has been since ages, it is a tradition to be followed. Some ladies also said that I was lucky that now the situation is better for me, for I was not kept in the cold outside in a goth, a cowshed or makeshift hut.

In Western part of Nepal Chaupadi, the system of keeping menstruating women and girls outside of their homes is still prevalent. According to a government study around 74 per cent of women were compelled to practice Chhaupadi in Jumla. Women lose their lives in these open huts due to snakebites, cold and animal attacks.

A law to abolish Chaupadi pratha was introduced in 2005. Recently, the Criminal Code Bill passed by the Parliament criminalises the ancient practice. The new law stipulates a three-month jail sentence or Rs 3,000 fine, or both, for anyone forcing a woman to follow the custom according to a news report.

However the law do not seem to be implemented even after more than a decade of its introduction. This still this tradition is alive in our society not only in the rural Nepal but also in city areas among educated population. The severity of the tradition might be low in most urban parts of Nepal but it is still followed in many households.

This is the second year I will not be receiving tika and blessings from elders on the auspicious occasion of Bijaya Dashami because I am menstruating. Yesterday on the day of Navami we were at my uncle's home for Dashain get-together. My aunt called me to put tika as she did not know that I was in my period at that time. But it was me who hesitated and took a step backward and told her that I am on my period. After over years of conditioning and following the tradition I myself did not feel like putting tika. Even though I am against it, a part of me did not allow myself to take a step forward and receive tika at that moment. I am aware that menstruation is a natural process and not a taboo but still I did not want to go ahead and change. I realised that we ourselves think that we are not touchable when we are in our periods. Any tradition that is related with socio-cultural beliefs takes a lot of time sometimes even generations to change.

After a lot of confusions and dilemma I decided that it was okay to receive tika during periods if I wished to. But receiving tika requires two parties. The other party should also be willing to give blessings and support. Today on the day of Dashami, I requested my parents to put tika even though it was my second day of menstruation. I knew they would not agree but still I wanted to know what they would say. They straight away denied it. My mother told me, "Oh so you want to take photos and share it on your facebook so that you can show off that you broke our age-old tradition?" I did not want any further discussions because I did not want to hurt her feelings on this special day. I did not feel like ruining anyone's festive mood.

Even though I did not celebrate the festival this year, I made a progress. First I faced my own doubts and then I also voiced my opinion to my parents. I am sure by next time I will raise my voice even more strongly. If my sister is having her period during festivals and if she desires to still celebrate it, I will support her. I do not want her or any other women to suffer from isolation or humiliation for going through a natural cycle, for being a woman. 

An open letter to my Teachers

Dear Teachers,

If you have ever taught me something this letter is for you. All I want to express is gratitude through this letter on such an auspicious occasion of Guru Purnima or Teacher's Day. Being a teacher is a tough job and being a teacher to a student like me is not an easy task at all. However, you have done your best to make me the person I am today. I don't know how successful I have become in making you proud or happy but your presence in my life has given me a sense of direction. You have influenced me so much that now I am on a path similar as yours; I have started teaching and mentoring students. And it is now that I realise even more how important it is to be a part of a student's learning process and life.

I am grateful to my first teachers, my parents for instilling the joy of learning within me. Parents play a vital role in the learning process. Without proper guidance, support and encouragement learning is always incomplete. Both my parents have invested their time and energies in creating a conducive learning environment for me and my sister. I have observed that some parents push their children too hard to pursue their studies and I have witnessed some do not have enough time for their children. Fortunately my parents have maintained a balance between being too liberal and too strict, being too close and too distant. They have given me love, freedom, understanding and support whenever I needed which is vital for learning and growth.

How can I forget my first teachers in pre-school who helped me adapt to school and classroom systems, the ones who held my hand and taught me write my first alphabet, who introduced me to the fascinating world of digits and the ones who allowed the expressive side of me emerge? I will always be indebted to my teachers who taught me how to read, write, listen and speak in my early years of school life. Without you I would not be writing this in the first place.

There was a time in my life when I lacked confidence. I did not have confidence to speak in public, to write and tell my stories as I can do it now.  I want to express gratitude to the teachers and mentors who always trusted on me. "I see a spark in you; you will reach places and do great things," a teacher once said to me. Similarly there are so many other teachers who have always seen me as a person with potential, ability and credibility to bring positive changes in the society. When teachers and mentors trust you, you trust yourself and you don't want to let them down.

Some teachers taught me the hard way. Great lessons come in difficult situations. Some teachers have a very unusual way of teaching and they are misunderstood at that moment. But later you come to realise why that teacher said such thing to you. Medicines are always bitter and so are good advices. I apologise for taking you wrongly at that moment. You did not want to be popular among the students but show us the right path even if that meant being the disliked. I respect you for being that way.
I am thankful to the teachers, inspirers and motivators who are always present in my life. I may not be always in touch with you but your actions inspire me to do great things.

Every situation, every person that I have come across, the books I have read, the friends I have made, the places I have travelled are all  my teachers.  Nature is my teacher. My students and mentees also inspire me and teach me new things every day. The people I have not met or witnessed through the virtual world have also taught me great lessons. The life that I am living at the moment is my greatest teacher. Every day, every moment I am learning new things and I am grateful for all that.
You might think why I have not mentioned the names of the special people in my life here. It is because there are so many teachers who have taught me till date and I do not want to miss out anybody's name here. But you know who you are and I give you the credit for shaping me into the person I have become.

Now I somewhat understand the challenges of being a teacher. You have to be prepared, patient and giving and most of the times all your efforts go unnoticed. But please don't stop doing your thing. You have the power to gift the light of education and values.

Respectfully yours,

Abhilasha

Why Vipassana meditation?

10 days of noble silence, pure vegetarian food and 100 hours of meditation

Abhilasha Rayamajhi

"Why did you go for 10 days Vipassana meditation? What problem did you have that you needed an escape?" "You are already such a calm person why did you need to meditate?" These are some of the remarks I received when I returned from the 10 days Vipassana course.

I have always been fascinated by saints and the spiritual world. I got to know about the Vipassana meditation through my father. He undertook this course a few years back and had been meditating at home. I was not quite eager to go for Vipassana back then but I wanted to learn more about it. I thought taking 10 days off from my normal college and work life was not possible for me back then. However, I would meditate for a few minutes every now and then before I went to sleep. Further I have a close friend who also happened to be a Vipassana meditator. He was always calm and observant and that attribute was praiseworthy. I felt there was something in this technique of meditation.

Last year I got an exciting and awakening opportunity to travel to Bodhgaya where Buddha got enlightened, Sarnath where he gave his first sermon, Rajgir, Nalanda and other sacred places. I meditated for a while under the Bodhi tree and visited the Mahabodhi temple. This year on the Nepali New Year I trekked to Muktinath which is situated in lower Mustang. All these spiritual journeys and experiences prepared me and paved my way for this intense meditation.

My curiosity to know myself, the need to understand how my body and mind functions and how I can become a better version of myself led me to Vipassana meditation centre.

I was quite excited to leave everything behind and go for this meditation. We are not supposed to take our gadgets, cosmetics or jewelleries. Leaving these items was easy for me. In fact I was looking forward to my days without gadgets. The difficult part for me was detachment with my dear books and diary.  We are not supposed to carry anything that distracts us from our meditation practice. I always have a book by my side and as a journalist I have the habit of taking notes. So leaving my books and notebook was painful. However, the rules are there for our own good and it is for our best that we follow it. So, I packed a few clothes, toiletries, an umbrella and a water bottle and was set for my adventure.

Inside the centre we were requested to strictly follow the five precepts or Sila that are:
1. To abstain from killing anyone
2. To abstain from stealing
3. To abstain from sexual misconduct
4. To abstain from wrong speech
5. To abstain from all intoxicants

When I read the first precept I thought to myself, "This is so stupid. Why would anyone go there to meditate and kill another human being?" Killing insects intentionally or unintentionally had not even crossed my mind! At Vipassana centre I became cautious that I had to move gently and make sure not even an ant was killed.

 I love eating spicy and oily non-vegetarian food items. I had already paid a price for my obsession with meat. I suffered from constipation which resulted in haemorrhoids or piles. Every time I ate a plate of chicken momo or spicy pani puri, the next morning I would have a really difficult time. One morning I had to be taken urgently to the hospital because I had rectal bleeding and periods at the same time which made me really weak.

We were served hygienic and pure vegetarian food thrice a day. The food served there helped me reduce constipation to a great extent. I understood what my body really demanded. Even after the course I have not consumed any non-vegetarian food and I have been aware about what is going inside my system.

The first few days we were taught to focus on our breathing. This technique is called Anapana. It was challenging to stay in one place 10 hours a day and just observe my breathing. Later we were taught the wonderful technique of Vipassana where we observed the sensations in our body from head to feet and in reverse order. Every day from 7 to 8:30 pm we had S.N. Goeka's discourses which were quite informative with a hint of humour and lots of witty stories.

I was coping up with being with myself and observing my sensations. However, on the sixth day I felt terrible. I suffered from severe cough and cold and headache. I was annoyed at almost everything around me and mostly myself for choosing such a path where we were not allowed to speak or do anything. I wanted to escape. But I consoled myself saying that it was already the sixth day and only four days were remaining. Later on the sixth day in the discourse, Goenka mentioned that it is normal to have such feelings and it takes a strong mind to come this far.

Finally on the seventh day there were moments when I felt ecstatic while meditating and afterwards as well. I could feel numerous sensations on my body. There are so many sensations that are happening in our bodies and till 23 years I was ignorant about what was happening in my body. I was overjoyed to experience these pleasant sensations. I thought this was it, now I am enlightened. But on the eighth day while meditating I did not feel the same, in fact I didn't feel any such sensations. At that moment I felt like I fell down after reaching a certain height. I understood at an experiential level that nothing stays forever whether it is a pleasant sensation or an unpleasant one we are always changing and we must maintain equanimity at all times.

On the final day we were taught Metta where we filled our mind and body with feelings of good-will for all beings. We could finally break noble silence on this day and talk to fellow meditators. We also had a book exhibition and donation program on the same day. Vipassana courses are run solely on donation basis and the courses are free of cost.

So what did I gain from Vipassana?
1. I feel healthier and happier.
2. I have a new energy to achieve great heights of success in life.
3. I have the urge to serve others.
4. I have experienced that change is the only thing that is constant.
5. I have become a more balanced and calmer person.

The things that I have gained cannot be expressed in words. I am still in the process of reflecting what I learnt there and what I've gained. My time there was wonderful. It was challenging but worth it. I absolutely recommend Vipassana meditation to everyone. I would also like to inform that Vipassana is not for you if you are going for an escape or to cure your disease. There is no guarantee that your mental and physical health will drastically improve because of this course. I still am in the process of knowing myself better. However, these 10 days have helped me a lot in my personal development; I am at peace with myself and willing to share my peace and happiness with all beings.
Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam
May all beings be happy!

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