To, The Universe With Love

Photo: squarespace.com

 

Dear Universe,

First of all, thank you for everything you have granted me. I am grateful to all the love that I receive from family, friends, loved ones and even complete strangers every day. I am thankful for the nature, the sun that rises every single day, the moon and its cycle, the green trees, the flowers, the mountains and the divine energy that makes creation and life possible. 

I am grateful for my good health and all the resources that are flowing abundantly and effortlessly in my life. You have blessed me so generously that there is nothing I can complain about.  

Life till now has been a smooth ride with a few twists and turns. I am also thankful to all the challenges I faced and the hurdles that are yet to come. 

I am in harmony with the fact that difficult times are also as significant as happy times. Our problems make us who we are; our scars remind us of our brave history and the fact that we have made it so far. 

We succeed not despite our difficulties but because of them. I would not get the recognition, awards and successes I have in my life if I hadn't failed. We hear many famous personalities taking about how their failures have acted as a ladder to their success. 

Malcolm Gladwell has talked about this in his book Outliers. Oprah Winfrey shares that there is no such thing as failure, it is just God's way of saying not this way and guide you to the next direction.

As the years pass I realize that it is true that there is no such thing as failure, it is how your mind perceives it. For instance, you get really low scores or fail in your exams then you have two choices either you consider yourself as a failure and waste a lot of time and energy on it, feel anxious and stressed out or you can embrace your pain, own it, learn from it and move on. 

The choice is yours.

So, it is very important to control my mind and not be controlled by it.   

The fears and hopes in me make me more human. I hope to receive everything with grace and acceptance with ease and calmness just like the plants receive sunlight and grow effortlessly. 

Universe, please give me the strength to walk my path with integrity. Give me the wisdom to accept the moment as if I had chosen it. Give me the power to live the truth and my calling. No matter what happens make me so powerful that I don't give up on myself and also on others. 

You are amazing the way you are. Thank you for blessing me with all I need and the better times that are yet to come. I am waiting to embrace them with love and an open heart. 

We are connected. I am within you and you are in me. 

Thank you for always being so kind to me. 

Yours Sincerely,

Abhilasha 

(ONE)

 The story of 2015

One of the things that I like to do is reflect upon and document my life. We all have stories to share, we all are stories in ourselves.  Our stories are worth remembering and worth sharing. We achieve what we want then that is great. But if we don't then there is something bigger and better for us or may be there is something right for us.

I found this video in my archives from 2015 so I thought of sharing it here in my blog.

A Go-getter's year Review

The 22^nd year of my life was full of achievements, travel, learning, reflections and moving on. In the beginning of the year I made one of my dreams come true. I always wanted to secure 4.0 GPA in BBA since I joined the course. Finally in the 8^th semester I did it. It felt like hitting the bull’s eye. I don’t think GPA reflects my intelligence or makes me a better person or student but accomplishing my goal feels great.

Many people have this concept that when you are involved in a full time job and extra-curricular activities you miss out on your studies. But I know for sure that applying your classroom learning at work and sharing your work experiences at class is quite beneficial.

Honestly, it was not at all fun at times to wake up at two in the morning to prepare for exams, complete assignments and project works and balance a full time job as a journalist for a leading national daily and host a Radio Talk show. But it was all worthwhile. I graduated as the ‘Best Graduating Student’.

( This one is for my parents, teachers, mentors, friends and everyone who has helped me. Would not be possible without you, really. )

Then I also got an opportunity experience and write about Bungy jumping at The Last Resort. I did the Tandem swing. It was a life time experience. Swinging just above the wild Bhotekoshi River and having the golden rays of sunshine on my face made me realize how beautiful this world is.

(The most adventurous moment of my entire life..many more to come, please stay tuned! Thank you Aman Dai and The Last Resort)

After that success, I went for an exciting and memorable college tour to India. Gazing at the setting sun at the Marine drive in Mumbai, parasailing and singing karaoke in Goa, shopping and meeting my cousin in Delhi and exploring the majestic beauty of Jaipur with my friends will always be cherished. I did not get much time to travel with my friends during the four years so I enjoyed India tour to the fullest without worrying about anything and living every bit of it.

Well, the year just about successes. I tried learning swimming but on the first day of training itself I got allergies and rashes all over my body. Even though I tried doing it for two more days, I was not afraid of water and picked up the instructions well but the allergies got worse and I couldn’t continue. I have learnt that not everything is meant for me in life and I must sometimes let go. My body has some limitations and I should accept and respect it.
I also went for bike rides around the valley. One of the most memorable one was the ride to Kakani, we meditated for a while in Osho Tapoban and enjoyed eating trout fish. The hills looked mesmerizing while on the way back home. The sky was full of twinkling stars and the city brightened up with all the glowing lights.

Beautiful view from Kakani

2016 was also a year full of learning and work. I interviewed young entrepreneurs and wrote lead stories focusing on tourism issues for the English national daily. I also coordinated with other writers/contributors and learnt basic editing skills. Further, I also attended a workshop on Journalism, writing and power point presentations. I tried my best to become a better journalist/writer and a presenter this year.

Interview with Dr Dee Aker, Advisor for Strategic Peacebuilding, University of San Diego, USA

I left my job at a point where I was about to get a raise and promotion. I did not have any better offer that attracted me to leave the work as a full time journalist in one of the leading media houses. I just followed my intuition. I reached a point where I felt like I need to learn and grow more. I need to educate myself to do my work better. I need to understand and explore myself before being committed to anything in my career. I just moved on and there is nothing that can stop you when you have the determination to move forward in life. I have no regrets for the choice I made at this point of my life. I am grateful to the organization, seniors and juniors for helping me learn and develop life skills.
A new chapter of my life began after that. I represented Nepal in “5^th International Buddhist Conclave” where there were delegates from around 40 countries were present. This was a life changing event for me in my life. I witnessed spiritual aarati in the Ghats of Varanasi, observed the holy place Saranath where Buddha gave his first sermon, visited the Mahabodhi temple and meditated under the Bodhi tree where Buddha attained enlightenment and stepped on many other spiritual sites. All of these events and networking with professionals, government officials and delegates from around the world broadened the horizon of my mind. It made me more perceptive.

The International Buddhist Conclave

With  Ranjit Rae, Ambassador of India to Nepal and other delegates for International Buddhist Conclave, at the Indian Embassy

This year I hosted an international event, ‘Nepal Africa Film Festival’ in Kathmandu and Bipul Chettri’s concert in Itahari. I met some really amazing people at these events and I believe every person we meet and every incident in our life has a purpose and significance.

Sharing my story at the Story Yellers

 Hosting Bipul Chetri’s Concert, Itahari

Apart from this I spoke at the Story Yellers where I shared my learning at Bourgandi Children home where I volunteered during my undergrad days. I was the Moderator at the First ever Women’s Entrepreneurship Day in Nepal, presented at Presidential college in the program ‘Am I weird?’, Judged national speaking championship, attended Nepathya concert for the first time, learnt how to drive a car.
Moreover, I started something profound this year. I started teaching and training school and college students. I conducted workshops for students at various business schools on writing, presentation and public speaking skills. And I got an opportunity to work with a school to help students write better. I am learning more when I am helping others learn and develop new skills. I am highly motivated and I wish to continue this endeavor.

Last week I visited three different colleges to promote a marathon for breast cancer awareness. Further, I ran, jogged, walked and completed 10 kms in the Pinkathon marathon. My intention to run this marathon was to encourage myself and other people to stay healthy and happy.  I am not running a race. I am paving my way to a unique and creative journey.
When I look back and reflect on my life so far I feel blessed that I have not stopped. No matter what I happened I have followed my intuition and moved on. But I did have some pauses in between, some confusions and disappointments. In these moments of despair, I have been my own best friend. I have talked to my own self in silence. I have consoled and comforted myself. Now I feel really happy when I am at the end of the day and I enter my room and I am alone.
Overall, 22 was a year that made me wiser and more compassionate. I truly feel blessed for I have this power to express myself and in this process I can be connected to people I have never met. As I embark a new year in my life I express gratitude to each and every being that have entered my life. Without you my journey is not possible. Let’s walk together, or let’s meet again at another junction of life.
I can already feel that 23 will be a dream year with more travel and learning, love and happiness. We all have the capacity to fulfill our dreams and help others in their journey. I hope we harness this power in whatever way we can.

Top 10 things to do in 2018

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

The year 2017 did not go as I had expected it to be. But guess what? It is nevertheless a beautiful and strong year, a milestone chapter in the book of my life. It has taught me so much about acceptance and forgiveness, loving and letting go, and creating beauty in the world. I made endless memories and started out new things like teaching, training, meditating, and cultivating some values to become a better self.

Life took some unexpected turns and initially I was quite overwhelmed, I did not know what to do and how to handle things. But with the grace of the universe and the support of family and friends I overcame my fears and emerged as a stronger individual.

Looking back at my year, I did some really cool stuff and enjoyed my time of 2017. Highlights of 2017 and what I ideas I have for 2018 are here:

a.    Health is Wealth

Your health should be your top priority. If you are not healthy then you cannot achieve anything. But I am not up for extreme and intense workout, I love to hike and trek in the nature and run few kilometres. This year I ran 10 kilometres in the Pinkathon event in the beginning of the year. I hiked few places around the Kathmandu valley and trekked to Muktinath with my students from John Dewey School in 2017.

I plan to run half marathon in 2018 and do some more hiking and trekking.

Health is not just about having an attractive physique but also a balanced mind for which meditation and eating the right quantity and quality of food is a must.I gave up consuming meat in 2017 and I feel awesome about it. I feel more energized and I've lost about 5 kilograms weight.

I have a long, long way to go...
Photo credit: Sudin KC

b.    Meditative lifestyle

Finally in 2017, I got an opportunity to go for a 10 day Vipassana course. I am happy for I could accomplish this ardent mediation. Since, then I have been practising it often.

My challenge in 2018 is to lead a meditative lifestyle.  I plan not just to meditate for an hour a day or 30 minutes a day but to apply the attentiveness in everything I do.

I've met people who claim to be 'spiritual' or even 'spiritual leaders and practitioners' but in their everyday life are quite frustrated and angry at even trivial matters.

Thank you God for Everything!

c.    Relationships matter

I say 2017 was a beautiful and strong year because of the relationships I have in my life. I value my family, friends, teachers, students and everyone I meet in a daily basis. My life would not be as wonderful and amazing as it is now without the people in my life. Shout- outs to all the lovely people in my life who have blessed it with so much love, I want you to know I love you back, even more. J  

In 2018 I will try my best to make you feel more special and proud to have me.

Let's create some magic, let's spread some love.

d.    Education, work and career

Writing, speaking, reading, teaching and presenting are the things that bring life into me. I am among the fortunate people in this world who have built their lives around the things they love. I am continuing to work at John Dewey School; I guide students to improve their writing and presenting skills. A few months back we introduced "John Dewey Talks" a platform where teachers and students collaboratively or individually make presentations on the topic of their choice. Moreover, we also initiated guest lecturing sessions at the school.

I was also invited at DAV school to present on my experience as a writer and media person. Last year I got awarded for my Journalistic works from "Rayamajhi Kuldevta Samiti" which I am quite grateful for.

Even this year I was the Master of Ceremonies for Nepal- Africa Film Festival where distinguished guests from Africa, Europe and Asia were present.

Awarded for my journalistic works

Guest Speaker at DAV School 

And yes I did joined Masters in Business Studies last year and will be appearing for exams in mid- January.

In 2017, I read Malcom Gladwell's "Blink", Kahil Gibran's, "The Broken Wings", Pema Chodron's "Start Where you are", Khaled Hosseini's "A Thousand Splendid Suns" to name a few.

Basically, like always my work, studies, writings, speaking and ventures keep me quite occupied and I love it.

In 2018, I plan to continue all my works, procrastinate less, read more, write more and love even more. I plan work with dedication and love, read at least 30 books, write and publish at least once a month and I have some more plans which I will be sharing with you soon.

e.    Inspiring myself and others

In my strong and beautiful year I have tried my best to keep myself and those around me happy and motivated.

Now in 2018, I plan to be more positive, helpful and giving. I am all excited to start my new year with full energy and enthusiasm.  I have experienced that the little things that we do brings us more happiness than the honors and awards we receive.

I have created 10 things that I will stick by, these are not resolutions exactly but I call them 'Flex To-do List', simple and changeable according to the situation. You can make your own list according to your needs and convenience:

1.    Wake up earlier. No matter how cold it is or how lazy you are feeling just get out of your bed and stop snoozing! (Weekends and holidays are an exception here.)

2.    Be the queen of accomplishments. Don't leave things undone. Be honest and responsible to yourself.

3.    Maintain your exercise and meditation routine and eat right. Avoid junk as much as possible.

4.    Write gratitude journal every single day. By the end of the year you will have enough things to be thankful for and realize how amazing your life is.

5.    Watch the sunrise and the sunset.

6.    Be more giving and helpful, volunteer for a social cause.

7.    Travel to at least 5-6 new places or countries.

8.    Write a letter or make a presentation for your loved one.

9.    Read something interesting every day. Write at least 200 words each day.

10.  Smile more, talk to strangers (don't be too timid or shy) and help as many people as you can.  

I hope you have a great year ahead, a year full of surprises and may you get all that your heart desires for. Thank you for reading it and being there with me.

Lots of love,

Yours Abhilasha

Bleeding Dashami, A Confession 

I was 11 when I menstruated for the first time. I was not allowed to stay at my home. I was taken to my relative's place with all my clothes, mattress, quilt and other necessities that I would require for 11 days. I was not permitted to go any other rooms of the house, look directly at the sun and look at any men. I was having winter vacation at that time so I did not miss my school, if I did not have holidays I would have missed my school too.

My mattress was placed in the corner of a room that was full of furniture. I was not allowed to cross the small area and touch any of the items there.  The washroom that I had to use was downstairs and I could use it either in the early mornings when no one was awake or after everyone was asleep. You might be wondering what I did in between. Well, there was a pot placed in the corner of the room.

I was not easy for me to stay there for 11 long days. There would be visitors during daytime that brought me food and gave me company. But at nights I felt quite lonely. The only entertainment I had at that time was a radio. No TV, no mobile, no laptop, only a radio. When I asked why is it that I had to follow all these rules, the only answer I received was this is how it has been since ages, it is a tradition to be followed. Some ladies also said that I was lucky that now the situation is better for me, for I was not kept in the cold outside in a goth, a cowshed or makeshift hut.

In Western part of Nepal Chaupadi, the system of keeping menstruating women and girls outside of their homes is still prevalent. According to a government study around 74 per cent of women were compelled to practice Chhaupadi in Jumla. Women lose their lives in these open huts due to snakebites, cold and animal attacks.

A law to abolish Chaupadi pratha was introduced in 2005. Recently, the Criminal Code Bill passed by the Parliament criminalises the ancient practice. The new law stipulates a three-month jail sentence or Rs 3,000 fine, or both, for anyone forcing a woman to follow the custom according to a news report.

However the law do not seem to be implemented even after more than a decade of its introduction. This still this tradition is alive in our society not only in the rural Nepal but also in city areas among educated population. The severity of the tradition might be low in most urban parts of Nepal but it is still followed in many households.

This is the second year I will not be receiving tika and blessings from elders on the auspicious occasion of Bijaya Dashami because I am menstruating. Yesterday on the day of Navami we were at my uncle's home for Dashain get-together. My aunt called me to put tika as she did not know that I was in my period at that time. But it was me who hesitated and took a step backward and told her that I am on my period. After over years of conditioning and following the tradition I myself did not feel like putting tika. Even though I am against it, a part of me did not allow myself to take a step forward and receive tika at that moment. I am aware that menstruation is a natural process and not a taboo but still I did not want to go ahead and change. I realised that we ourselves think that we are not touchable when we are in our periods. Any tradition that is related with socio-cultural beliefs takes a lot of time sometimes even generations to change.

After a lot of confusions and dilemma I decided that it was okay to receive tika during periods if I wished to. But receiving tika requires two parties. The other party should also be willing to give blessings and support. Today on the day of Dashami, I requested my parents to put tika even though it was my second day of menstruation. I knew they would not agree but still I wanted to know what they would say. They straight away denied it. My mother told me, "Oh so you want to take photos and share it on your facebook so that you can show off that you broke our age-old tradition?" I did not want any further discussions because I did not want to hurt her feelings on this special day. I did not feel like ruining anyone's festive mood.

Even though I did not celebrate the festival this year, I made a progress. First I faced my own doubts and then I also voiced my opinion to my parents. I am sure by next time I will raise my voice even more strongly. If my sister is having her period during festivals and if she desires to still celebrate it, I will support her. I do not want her or any other women to suffer from isolation or humiliation for going through a natural cycle, for being a woman. 

An open letter to my Teachers

Dear Teachers,

If you have ever taught me something this letter is for you. All I want to express is gratitude through this letter on such an auspicious occasion of Guru Purnima or Teacher's Day. Being a teacher is a tough job and being a teacher to a student like me is not an easy task at all. However, you have done your best to make me the person I am today. I don't know how successful I have become in making you proud or happy but your presence in my life has given me a sense of direction. You have influenced me so much that now I am on a path similar as yours; I have started teaching and mentoring students. And it is now that I realise even more how important it is to be a part of a student's learning process and life.

I am grateful to my first teachers, my parents for instilling the joy of learning within me. Parents play a vital role in the learning process. Without proper guidance, support and encouragement learning is always incomplete. Both my parents have invested their time and energies in creating a conducive learning environment for me and my sister. I have observed that some parents push their children too hard to pursue their studies and I have witnessed some do not have enough time for their children. Fortunately my parents have maintained a balance between being too liberal and too strict, being too close and too distant. They have given me love, freedom, understanding and support whenever I needed which is vital for learning and growth.

How can I forget my first teachers in pre-school who helped me adapt to school and classroom systems, the ones who held my hand and taught me write my first alphabet, who introduced me to the fascinating world of digits and the ones who allowed the expressive side of me emerge? I will always be indebted to my teachers who taught me how to read, write, listen and speak in my early years of school life. Without you I would not be writing this in the first place.

There was a time in my life when I lacked confidence. I did not have confidence to speak in public, to write and tell my stories as I can do it now.  I want to express gratitude to the teachers and mentors who always trusted on me. "I see a spark in you; you will reach places and do great things," a teacher once said to me. Similarly there are so many other teachers who have always seen me as a person with potential, ability and credibility to bring positive changes in the society. When teachers and mentors trust you, you trust yourself and you don't want to let them down.

Some teachers taught me the hard way. Great lessons come in difficult situations. Some teachers have a very unusual way of teaching and they are misunderstood at that moment. But later you come to realise why that teacher said such thing to you. Medicines are always bitter and so are good advices. I apologise for taking you wrongly at that moment. You did not want to be popular among the students but show us the right path even if that meant being the disliked. I respect you for being that way.
I am thankful to the teachers, inspirers and motivators who are always present in my life. I may not be always in touch with you but your actions inspire me to do great things.

Every situation, every person that I have come across, the books I have read, the friends I have made, the places I have travelled are all  my teachers.  Nature is my teacher. My students and mentees also inspire me and teach me new things every day. The people I have not met or witnessed through the virtual world have also taught me great lessons. The life that I am living at the moment is my greatest teacher. Every day, every moment I am learning new things and I am grateful for all that.
You might think why I have not mentioned the names of the special people in my life here. It is because there are so many teachers who have taught me till date and I do not want to miss out anybody's name here. But you know who you are and I give you the credit for shaping me into the person I have become.

Now I somewhat understand the challenges of being a teacher. You have to be prepared, patient and giving and most of the times all your efforts go unnoticed. But please don't stop doing your thing. You have the power to gift the light of education and values.

Respectfully yours,

Abhilasha

Why Vipassana meditation?

10 days of noble silence, pure vegetarian food and 100 hours of meditation

Abhilasha Rayamajhi

"Why did you go for 10 days Vipassana meditation? What problem did you have that you needed an escape?" "You are already such a calm person why did you need to meditate?" These are some of the remarks I received when I returned from the 10 days Vipassana course.

I have always been fascinated by saints and the spiritual world. I got to know about the Vipassana meditation through my father. He undertook this course a few years back and had been meditating at home. I was not quite eager to go for Vipassana back then but I wanted to learn more about it. I thought taking 10 days off from my normal college and work life was not possible for me back then. However, I would meditate for a few minutes every now and then before I went to sleep. Further I have a close friend who also happened to be a Vipassana meditator. He was always calm and observant and that attribute was praiseworthy. I felt there was something in this technique of meditation.

Last year I got an exciting and awakening opportunity to travel to Bodhgaya where Buddha got enlightened, Sarnath where he gave his first sermon, Rajgir, Nalanda and other sacred places. I meditated for a while under the Bodhi tree and visited the Mahabodhi temple. This year on the Nepali New Year I trekked to Muktinath which is situated in lower Mustang. All these spiritual journeys and experiences prepared me and paved my way for this intense meditation.

My curiosity to know myself, the need to understand how my body and mind functions and how I can become a better version of myself led me to Vipassana meditation centre.

I was quite excited to leave everything behind and go for this meditation. We are not supposed to take our gadgets, cosmetics or jewelleries. Leaving these items was easy for me. In fact I was looking forward to my days without gadgets. The difficult part for me was detachment with my dear books and diary.  We are not supposed to carry anything that distracts us from our meditation practice. I always have a book by my side and as a journalist I have the habit of taking notes. So leaving my books and notebook was painful. However, the rules are there for our own good and it is for our best that we follow it. So, I packed a few clothes, toiletries, an umbrella and a water bottle and was set for my adventure.

Inside the centre we were requested to strictly follow the five precepts or Sila that are:
1. To abstain from killing anyone
2. To abstain from stealing
3. To abstain from sexual misconduct
4. To abstain from wrong speech
5. To abstain from all intoxicants

When I read the first precept I thought to myself, "This is so stupid. Why would anyone go there to meditate and kill another human being?" Killing insects intentionally or unintentionally had not even crossed my mind! At Vipassana centre I became cautious that I had to move gently and make sure not even an ant was killed.

 I love eating spicy and oily non-vegetarian food items. I had already paid a price for my obsession with meat. I suffered from constipation which resulted in haemorrhoids or piles. Every time I ate a plate of chicken momo or spicy pani puri, the next morning I would have a really difficult time. One morning I had to be taken urgently to the hospital because I had rectal bleeding and periods at the same time which made me really weak.

We were served hygienic and pure vegetarian food thrice a day. The food served there helped me reduce constipation to a great extent. I understood what my body really demanded. Even after the course I have not consumed any non-vegetarian food and I have been aware about what is going inside my system.

The first few days we were taught to focus on our breathing. This technique is called Anapana. It was challenging to stay in one place 10 hours a day and just observe my breathing. Later we were taught the wonderful technique of Vipassana where we observed the sensations in our body from head to feet and in reverse order. Every day from 7 to 8:30 pm we had S.N. Goeka's discourses which were quite informative with a hint of humour and lots of witty stories.

I was coping up with being with myself and observing my sensations. However, on the sixth day I felt terrible. I suffered from severe cough and cold and headache. I was annoyed at almost everything around me and mostly myself for choosing such a path where we were not allowed to speak or do anything. I wanted to escape. But I consoled myself saying that it was already the sixth day and only four days were remaining. Later on the sixth day in the discourse, Goenka mentioned that it is normal to have such feelings and it takes a strong mind to come this far.

Finally on the seventh day there were moments when I felt ecstatic while meditating and afterwards as well. I could feel numerous sensations on my body. There are so many sensations that are happening in our bodies and till 23 years I was ignorant about what was happening in my body. I was overjoyed to experience these pleasant sensations. I thought this was it, now I am enlightened. But on the eighth day while meditating I did not feel the same, in fact I didn't feel any such sensations. At that moment I felt like I fell down after reaching a certain height. I understood at an experiential level that nothing stays forever whether it is a pleasant sensation or an unpleasant one we are always changing and we must maintain equanimity at all times.

On the final day we were taught Metta where we filled our mind and body with feelings of good-will for all beings. We could finally break noble silence on this day and talk to fellow meditators. We also had a book exhibition and donation program on the same day. Vipassana courses are run solely on donation basis and the courses are free of cost.

So what did I gain from Vipassana?
1. I feel healthier and happier.
2. I have a new energy to achieve great heights of success in life.
3. I have the urge to serve others.
4. I have experienced that change is the only thing that is constant.
5. I have become a more balanced and calmer person.

The things that I have gained cannot be expressed in words. I am still in the process of reflecting what I learnt there and what I've gained. My time there was wonderful. It was challenging but worth it. I absolutely recommend Vipassana meditation to everyone. I would also like to inform that Vipassana is not for you if you are going for an escape or to cure your disease. There is no guarantee that your mental and physical health will drastically improve because of this course. I still am in the process of knowing myself better. However, these 10 days have helped me a lot in my personal development; I am at peace with myself and willing to share my peace and happiness with all beings.
Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam
May all beings be happy!

Photo: i.ytimg.com

Should we Lean In?

Writing is something I am quite passionate about. However, many  times I find myself struggling to find the right words to express what I feel exactly. Therefore, to sharpen my writing and analytical skills I have decided to read more. To be more precise, one book a week. Recently I completed reading Lean In by Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer (COO) Sheryl Sandberg.

“Women, work and the will to lead,” is the tag-line of this book. Sandberg describes her international bestseller as, “feminist manifesto that inspires men as much as it inspires women.”  

I  did my research for Summer Project Work in undergrad level on the topic, ‘Challenges faced by working women in Kathmandu’. The goal of my project work was to find out why there are so few women leaders in Nepal and the world. After interviewing around 30 women in various levels and sectors I realised that there are several obstacles both internal and external for a woman to succeed in her career. The problems were verbal abuse, sexual assaults, lack of confidence and gender roles. This work opened myself up more questions rather than giving me one definite answer. Lean In did try to answer some of my queries. 

When I was doing profile reporting for a national daily, and interview for Youth in Entrepreneurship, I realised that the situation is worse than I had expected it to be. When I approached young women entrepreneurs to interview them, they said they were not ‘interview’ ready even though they had worked for years. On the contrary, men would themselves approach me to be interviewed for the radio show as well as national daily, even if they had not yet started their business! Yes, they only had an idea and they were ready to be featured in the media so that they would get investors who would be willing to invest in their business.   Women are underestimated because in a way we ourselves underestimate our capacities and this is also something that the book talks about. In many ways I could deeply connect to what the author was trying to convey the readers.

Once, my closest male friend said to me, “Men and women should do what they are meant to do. Women are the ‘weaker’ sex, they should stay at home and look after their babies. There is unbalance in this world because women want to do everything.” Well, I don’t blame him for thinking this way, gender roles and society’s expectations have a significant impact in our thoughts, words and actions. But I disagree with what he said. How can a woman who brought you into this world from her womb be ‘weaker’ than you? What is the role of a man in this world? What is the job of a woman?   

I watched Sandberg’s TED talk on why we have too few women leaders. Her speech was an eye opener and her book has given me some insights not just about work but also managing personal life. So here are some of the things that I have taken from this book:

1. More women in the decision making positions and power lead to better working conditions for other women and men.
2. “Opportunities are rarely offered they are seized.” Keep moving and do your best work.
3. Finding the right partner will not only make your personal lives easier but also help you in your career.                                                                                                                                        

The book misses to address is how can men learn to cope up with the changing dynamics and traditional roles? How can women truly internalise the revolution? Moreover, the book is 232 pages long but it ends at 173. Almost 60 pages of acknowledgements and references! 

 However, I recommend ‘Lean In’ to each and every girl and woman who is willing to work and lead. I also want more men to read this book and understand the challenges a woman faces and be a true partner in every way possible.The author beautifully presents personal stories that are quite relevant. Provides data and analyses and interprets them perfectly. The writing style is quite simple yet powerful.

Enjoy leaning in!

(Photo: https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com)

Lessons to learn

Abhilasha Rayamajhi

With the objective to promote Buddhist pilgrimage in India, 5th International Buddhist Conclave 2016 was organised by the Government of India, Ministry of Tourism.  State Governments of Uttar Pradesh and Bihar played an active role in the international conclave. Around 300 delegates from 39 countries participated in the event which took place from October 2 to October 6.

Buddhist monks, scholars, journalists, travel writers, government officials, travel agents, tour operators and other delegates from around the world were invited to the prestigious programme. Fortunately I received this opportunity to witness this spiritual conclave as a representative from Nepal. The inauguration was held on New Delhi and the delegates visited Varanasi, Saranath, Nalanda, Rajgir and Bodh Gaya in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar.

All the delegates were warmly welcomed and hosted by the Government of India. Chavanee Tongroach, Vice Minister of Tourism and Sports of Kingdom of Thailand shared that the conclave was an enriching and spiritual experience. Visiting places like Bodh Gaya and Sarnath was quite fascinating for almost all the delegates.

The international conclave was held in New Delhi and Bodhgaya in February 2004, Nalanda and Bodhgaya in February 2010, Varanasi and Bodhgaya in September 2012 and 2014. The programme included presentations, B2B meetings, cultural performance, site visits, networking, and meditation sessions.

One of the major arguments in almost all the presentations was to develop and promote Buddhist Circuits in India and in the SAARC region where Buddhist monasteries and heritages are present.

The Ministery of Tourism, Government of India has sanctioned an amount of IRs 132.17  till date for development of Buddhist circuit in India under its 'Swadesh Darshan Scheme'. The Tourism Minister of India, Dr Mahesh Sharma stated that Uttar Pradesh, the Ministry of Tourism will sanction IRs 99.97 million for infrastructure development of Buddhist circuit covering Saravasti, Kapilvastu and Kushinagar.

The four major sites of pilgrimage for followers of Buddha are Lumbini, Bodh Gaya, Sarnath and Khusinagar. Lumbini where Buddha was born, Bodh Gaya where he attained enlightenment, Sarnath where he gave his first sermon and Kushinagar where he chose for his final exit from the earth. Additionally, Nalanda, Rajgir, Vaishali and Sravasti are other scared sites in India where Buddha had travelled.

Buddhist Circuit is not complete without Lumbini. Therefore, this international conclave has definitely helped in promoting Lumbini and tourism in Nepal. It also provided a platform for the Nepali delegates to promote Lumbini as the birthplace of Nepal.

The travel and tour operators from India, Srilanka and other countries complained that Lumbini lacks proper road connectivity and communication facilities. During a networking session one tour operator from Srilanka said that they used to have Lumbini in our package but now they are not including it because of the poor road connectivity, lack of communication and coordination from concerned authorities. There is no information on whom to contact if they need facilities such as wheelchair for those who are unable to walk inside the pilgrimage. 

Political interferences and personal interests must not come in the way of development of such a sacred site. It is high time for the holistic development of Lumbini for economic prosperity of the nation.

Government of India, Ministry of tourism has a clear vision of how to promote the right destinations to the right markets. They understand the global market for cultural and religious tourism. It is high time for the Government of Nepal to learn lessons from the Indian Government and aggressively market Buddhist pilgrimages in Nepal.

Many people in the world still do not know where the birthplace of Buddha is and even numerous Nepali have not visited Lumbini. During my conversations with journalists from South Africa and United Kingdom I realised that even they are not aware about the birthplace of Buddha. In such scenario how can we tap even the spill over tourists from India in such a scenario?

Therefore, the Government of Nepal and private sector must be serious about promoting Lumbini as the birthplace of Buddha to the national as well as in the global market. Rather than just creating slogans and speeches stating ‘Buddha was born in Nepal’, we should take immediate actions for the development of Lumbini by learning lessons on how to promote destinations and reach out to the global markets from our southern neighbours.

 (The printed version of this article was published on The Himalayan Times on October 20, 2016) 

Writing to Inspire

Anita Sharma, Writer and Cancer Patient needs your help

One evening I was scrolling through my facebook wall and I bumped into this status from Anita Sharma who is an award winning author and a Cancer patient:

खै किताब बन्ने शब्दहरू त ल्यापटपमा भरियो । तर कसरी निकाल्ने किताब ? पक्कै पनि यी शब्दले सबैको मन जित्ने थियो अनि जानकारी पनि प्राप्त हुन्थ्यो जस्तो लाग्छ । अघिल्लो किताबको अनुभवबाट कलम केही तिखारीएको अनुभुती भएको छ मलाई । खै मलाई कस्ले सहयोग गर्ला ?? पब्लिकेसन्स सम्म जान पनि अरुको सहयोग माग्नुपर्ने आफ्नो अबस्थामा ?? उपचार गर्न जाउ कि ?? के गरौ गरौं ?? मन भए पनि आट आएन यसपटक मेरो ।

(The words that would fill a book are now inside my laptop. But how do I publish a book? I am sure that my words will win your heart and provide you with some information. My experience from writing my previous book has sharpened my skills. But I wonder who will help me?? Even to reach the publication I need help from others. What do I do, my treatment or publish my book? Even though I have the heart to publish my book, I lack the courage this time.)

I immediately commented, “You can start a crowd funding campaign and collect funds for the publication of your book.”

Within minutes she messaged me asking how she could do that. She even urged to meet and discuss this with me. Despite her poor health conditions she was ready to come to meet me at my place and the next day she was at my home. I found out that she is suffering from ovarian cancer since almost seven years now. 

 Sharma started writing early in her school days. However, she started writing her first book in 2010 when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. The book, “Jivan ek Sangharsha anek” (One life, many struggles) got published in 2012 for which she received good response from the readers. She received Ramraja Pant Memorial Award for her book. In her book she has included her sufferings and how determination and positive thoughts has helped her overcome it.

 (Ramraja Panta Memorial Award, Photo Courtesty: Anita Sharma)

The author is a mother of two daughters. She contributed a decade of her life teaching primary level school student. She recalls, “I used to be very active during my teaching days. I was involved with my students and I miss them the most.”

Besides writing she likes to engage herself in drawing and sewing. Before being trapped by the illness she used to sew her own clothes.

She truly believes that every person has the right to freedom of expression. Especially women should be more vocal about what they want to pursue in life.

                                                

Her words and her actions have truly inspired me. She is not just a housewife or teacher or a writer, she is a fighter. She has been constantly writing and inspiring her readers despite her pains.

But now she lacks the courage to publish her next book due to financial and health reasons. Publishing her next book is her dream.

Would you help her make her dream come true?

 Short video interview where she talks about herself and her book...

Writer Anita Sharma’s facebook profile https://www.facebook.com/anitasharma.pkr

Following the footsteps of Buddha

5^th International Buddhist Conclave 2016 was organised by the Government of India, Ministry of Tourism in association with State Governments of Uttar Pradesh and Bihar. Over 300 delegates from 39 countries participated in the event which took place from October 2 to October 6, 2016. 

The main objective of the international conference was to promote and project Buddhist pilgrimage and heritage in India.

Buddhist monks, scholars, journalists, travel writers, government officials, travel agents, tour operators and other delegates from around the world were invited in the prestigious programme. The inauguration was held on New Delhi and the delegates visited Varanasi, Saranath, Nalanda, Rajgir and Bodh Gaya in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar. 

Here is a short video of my journey at International Buddhist Conclave 2016: